It’s December 1st. And it comes as no surprise. It’s an uneasy feeling. I’m homesick. Just like every previous December that I’ve been away from family, away from snow, away from early Christmas music. I long for my home.
11 months of the year, my home is where I decide to rest my head at night. 11 months of the year, my home is the Earth, my partner’s arms, my suitcase, a new city. But comes December and I feel lost.
All through the year I think, I will save money, I won’t fly home for Christmas this year. All through the year I think, I don’t miss it that much after all. All through the year I think, I feel close to my loved ones even if I’m far, I’m ok, I’m happy. But comes December and I’m homesick.
The solution is easy. Change my mind. Pack a bag. Buy a flight. I’ve done it many times.
Not this time though. The solution used to be easy. Now, there’s none.
How do you get rid of homesickness when the home that you long for is no more? How do you fill the void when home has a huge missing piece of its own?
It’s December 1st. And I long for my home. I long for my memories of home. For my united family. For finding my inner child. For being someone’s cherished child. I long for a memory that only exists in the past.
So this year, I don’t change my mind. I don’t pack a bag. I don’t buy a flight.
This year, I try to find a new sense of home for Christmas.